Silence in the Dark
by ItsWhatIWrite
Summary: AU from season two episode "A Dark Day." Gabby ends up with more than just a few scratches-physically and emotionally. Turning this story into a mult-chapter. Will Gabby be able to overcome her injuries? Casey/Dawson Lots of Antonio/Gabby sibling interaction.
1. Silence

My first venture into Chicago Fire fanfiction. Just getting caught up on the show, don't know why it took me so long to catch on when I've been watching Chicago P.D. since the start. Anyways, I immediately fell in love with Casey and Dawson. I'm still learning about their characters when it comes to writing them. But I have to get my feet wet sometime. So here ya go...

Silence in the Dark

As soon has she regained consciousness, she had almost wished she hadn't. Between the ringing in her ears and the pounding in her head, she had a hard time focusing on anything. She coughed and blinked a few times, trying to focus on anything around her that could clue her in on what exactly had happened.

"Gabby! Call out!" Casey continued through the debris, not slowing down in the least bit. "I see someone!" He continued faster until he could see the identity of the body slumped up against what was once a wall. "Gabby!" He felt like he was running in water and going nowhere fast as he hurried over to her, ignoring Severide's calls for him to be careful.

When he reached her, he let out a sigh of relief, her eyes were open. They were full of fear, but they were open. "Oh thank god, are you ok?"

"I can't..." Gabby sobbed, "I can't hear you."

"Shit," Casey mumbled. He leaned down and kissed her, it was the only way he knew how to comfort her without using words. His hands started roaming her body, looking for possible broken bones and anything out of the ordinary.

Gabby cried out in pain when his hand caressed her abdomen. Casey looked down and his eyes widened, her lower half was soaked in blood.

"Guys!" Casey said through his radio, "I found Dawson, she's alive but hurt bad! Start digging!" With his hand still on the button he looked back over at Gabby as her head started to lull, "no, no, no, eyes open, babe." He completely forgot she couldn't hear him and dropped his radio. "Gabby," he cradled her face in his hands, he wanted to make sure she was looking at him, "stay with me."

She mustered a small smile, "thanks for finding me."

"I'll always find you," he said slow enough so she could read his lips. "You're gonna be ok. Can you tell me where it hurts?"

"All over," she cried. "My head, my ears and oh..." she winced, "my back, it really hurts." She put her hands over her ears, trying to stop the ringing. She pulled her hands back, startled to see them covered in blood. "Matt!"

Again, Casey cupped her face in his hands. "You're gonna be alright." He kissed her again and pulled back so she could read his lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The racket from above them stopped and light came piling down on top of them.

"I see them!" Matt heard Otis yell. "Hang on Dawson, we're coming!" The Lieutenant couldn't bring himself to yell back up that Gabby couldn't hear his words of reassurance.

Matt secured the neck brace and with the help of Severide, eased Gabby into the basket. He buckled the last restraint and smiled reassuringly. He kissed her and looked up above, "Take her up!"

She knew she was being cheered on, she could see the smiles and winced as everyone felt the need to pat her to make sure she was really alive. She couldn't hear them, though. She couldn't hear anything, not even the ringing that had become somewhat comforting. Even with the immense amount of physical pain she was in, nothing was more terrifying than the haunting silence that had now surrounded her.

The cheers from the men of firehouse 51 subsided once they pulled Gabby up and got an actual look at her injuries.

"Detective Dawson!"

Antonio looked up and caught sight of his sister's boss. "Chief, I heard you've got guys looking for more bombs."

Chief Boden nodded, "yeah, we do. Gabby was in the hospital when it went down and we just pulled her out." He shook his head, "it doesn't look good."

Antonio's heart stopped at the chief's words. "Where is she?" He saw men of firehouse 51 huddled together and ran over to them. "Gabby!" The firefighters parted, giving way for Antonio to see his sister. "Gabby!" His heart stopped at the sight of his baby sister covered head to toe in blood. The look of fear in her eyes was a look he'd only seen a few times before. "Gabby, talk to me! Say something!"

"She can't hear you," Casey noted softly, he had just been pushed out of the way by one of the responding medics and watched in despair as they started tending to her wounds. "Hearing loss from the blast, it's probably temporary." At least that's what he was telling himself.

"Go, get back to work, Casey. I've got it from here."

Casey shook his head, "I'm not going anywhere, Antonio. She needs me."

"The city of Chicago needs you, Casey." Antonio insisted. "I promise, I will keep you updated. Keep your phone on you, ok?" He patted the young fireman on the shoulder and climbed into the ambulance as the medics rushed Gabby to the part of the hospital that was untouched by the blast.


	2. Pictures and Words

Damn! 16 reviews?! You guys are amazing! I wasn't even sure I was gonna continue with the story when I first posted it because it was more of a practice attempt at writing Chicago Fire than anything else but with all the reviews, how could I not continue? I only hope this chapter lives up to the hype of the first chapter. Again, thanks for all the reviews. Please, if you can, leave another one after this chapter and let me know how you liked it. I love writing, so any critique is very much welcomed.

Chapter Two-Pictures and Words

It had been over an hour since Gabby was rushed away through the double swinging doors that were labeled _Staff Only. _Antonio knew that this wasn't just a normal day for the hospital and they were completely understaffed and overcrowded at the moment but this was his sister.

His baby sister.

And he needed someone to update him. He needed to update Matt. He'd received nearly thirty texts asking for news and with each one, Antonio had to send the same response, _nothing yet. _

"Casey!" Boden yelled across the still chaotic scene. "The commander is calling it, it's officially a recovery now. Go see how Dawson is doing."

Normally, Lieutenant Matt Casey would have to be forced away from a scene where there was still work to be done but not when it came to Gabby. He'd forced his thoughts away from the possible injuries she could be suffering from and put his job first but now it was time to put Gabby first and he wasn't going to ask twice.

"Thank you, Chief!"

Matt was able to get a hold of Antonio to find out where exactly the were and now it had just turned into a matter of actually getting there. He passed several dozens of people still waiting to be seen by someone with some sort of medical training. With each injured person he past, he became even more thankful that Gabby had been attended to almost immediately.

Matt finally spotted Antonio, just in time to see him shaking a doctor's hand.

"Antonio!" He weaved his way through several more people and rushed over to Gabby's brother. "How is she?"

Antonio thanked the doctor one last time before turning to Matt. "You were right, the doc says the hearing loss is most likely temporary. He says it's acoustic trauma from the explosion. She's got a concussion, a few cracked ribs, a lot of superficial cuts and scrapes and..." Antonio shook his head, unsure of how to tell Matt the rest.

"Just say it, Antonio."

"Gabby had a miscarriage."

"What? I didn't even..." Matt shook his head in disbelief, "she was pregnant? But Gabby would have known, she would have told me!"

Antonio nodded, "I'm sorry, man. From what the doctor said, Gabby had no idea. Gabby was complaining about the discomfort in her abdomen and I guess there was a lot of blood, you know, down there and they did an ultra sound." He placed a comforting hand on Matt's shoulder. "She's been asking for you."

"Does she know?"

"Yeah." Antonio motioned towards the emergency room, "they don't have a room for her yet but he said she can have visitors."

Matt started to walk towards the room but stopped. He was being selfish. Gabby wasn't just his girlfriend, she was Antonio's little sister. "Do you..."

"Go on. You're the one she needs right now."

Matt slipped into the dimly lit room and let out a sigh of relief, it was one thing to be told that she was ok but to actually see her, it had lightened his heavy heart. She was curled on her side with her arms wrapped around her midsection and her eyes closed.

She opened her eyes, feeling his presence. "Matt!" She tried to sit up but didn't get very far before crying out in pain.

"Hey, hey, hey," Matt rushed to her side and helped her lay back down.

"I'm sorry!" She cried, grabbing a hold of his arm and refusing to let go for fear that he would leave her.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for." He'd forgotten that she couldn't hear him and gently cupped her face in his hands so she was looking at him. "Don't apologize," he said, slow enough for her to read his lips.

"I should have known."

Matt shook his head. "Stop it." He sat down on the edge of her bed and caught sight of the notebook sitting on the table next to her. That must have been how she'd been communicating with the doctors. He grabbed it and angrily flipped past the page that explained the miscarriage and over to an empty piece of paper. He was at a loss of how to write out what he wanted to say to her, to comfort her, so instead he put down on paper the only way to show his love.

He drew a giant heart and showed it to her.

It was enough to show Gabby that he wasn't mad at her; that he didn't blame her.

"I love you," she sobbed and grabbed the paper from him. "Stay with me?"

Matt nodded and helped her scoot over on the bed so he could climb in next to her. He was careful of her wounds and the wires and wrapped his arm around her midsection. She winced as she turned her body so she was cuddled into his side.

* * *

><p>"How about a bath?" Matt suggested as soon as they walked through the front door.<p>

She wasn't sure when it had happened, sometime in the middle of the night, she guessed, but she'd gotten her hearing back. It wasn't perfect and things were still a bit muffled, but she had been assured that in time, her hearing would be fine.

The doctors had decided it was best to keep Gabby under a twenty four hour observation for the concussion and once the twenty four hours had come and gone, instead of waiting to be discharged, Gabby had signed herself out.

"I think I'm just gonna take a shower and then call it a night."

"You need to eat, Gabby."

"I'm not hungry."

"But you can't take your pain meds without food."

"Then I guess I'm not going to take anything, then." She snapped at him. She wasn't in the least bit hungry. She'd forced down a few bites of her breakfast to please Matt but right now she didn't think she could even manage that. Just the thought of food made her nauseous. _But it's not like you're pregnant anymore_, she berated herself.

Matt could see the inner turmoil play out across Gabby's face. The lack of color in her face and the blurred look in her eyes had him greatly concerned.

Gabby turned around and started for the master bathroom but just a few steps in and she was losing focus. She swayed and reached out for something to grab onto.

"Gabby!" Matt was behind her in an instant, his hands on her waist and steadying her. He was relieved that Gabby didn't fight him as he led her to their bedroom.

She crawled into bed, "I think I'll take a shower later."

"That's probably a good idea." He grabbed one of his old t-shirts that Gabby had made his own sometime ago and a pair of her sweat pants. "Want any help?" He held the clothes up for her.

"If you wouldn't mind."

"Never."

Gabby winced as she put her arms up so Matt could take off the shirt she had on. It was the first time he'd really gotten a look at the physical pain the blast had inflicted on her. "Gabby..." he whispered. Her torso was nearly covered in cuts and bruises had started to form, adding an array of yellow, purple and blue tones to her skin.

She shook her head, "I deserve the pain."

"What? Why would you say that?"

"I was almost eight weeks pregnant, Matt!" Gabby cried. "I was far enough that I should have recognized the symptoms! If I would have paid attention to my body and realized I was pregnant then I never would have been signing in for the race!"

"Don't you dare," Matt nearly demanded. "I will not sit here and let you blame yourself."

The tears fell free down her cheeks and she shook her head, "but..."

"No buts, Gabriela."

Matt slipped out of his jeans and pulled his own t-shirt off before climbing into bed next to Gabby. She was hesitant at first but eventually allowed herself to relax as much as she possibly could and cuddled into his side. She was restless for a little while but it was once she fell into a deep sleep that Matt allowed himself to follow suit.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Antonio." Matt stepped away from the open door and allowed Gabby's brother to step through the threshold.<p>

It was nearing noon and while Matt was dressed and up for the day, Antonio didn't see Gabby. "Gabby?"

"Still sleeping." Matt offered up a mug, silently asking if Antonio wanted some coffee. The Detective nodded and took the now full mug. "I keep checking on her," Matt admitted. "The sleeping will honestly do her good, though."

Antonio nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table. "How was she last night?"

Matt shrugged, "she tried to put up that tough girl act of hers."

"You didn't fall for it, did you?"

"Of course not."

Matt heard the start of the shower down the hall. "She must be awake."

The two men sat in silence, unsure of what to say to one another. Eventually talk started of yesterday's events and that's what they continued to talk about until Gabby came walking into the kitchen.

She definitely looked better than yesterday, Matt noted to himself. But he couldn't help but still worry as she seemed a bit uneasy on her feet. He smiled and kissed her forehead when she took a seat in the chair next to him.

"Good afternoon, sleepyhead." Antonio quipped.

Gabby rolled her eyes, "you'd be a bit tired too if a building had fallen on you less than forty eight hours ago."

"I see the sass is still there." He got up and pulled his little sister into a hug, careful not to hold her too tight for fear of hurting her. He kissed the side of her head. "Really, though, how are you?"

"Better." She eyed the cup of coffee in Matt's hand and grinned when he handed it to her. She took a sip and smiled, he'd made it just the way she liked it. "You're the best." Her attempt at changing the subject was smooth but not unnoticed by the two men who knew her the best. "So what's the plan for today?"

Matt raised a brow, "what do you mean? You're off until you're cleared and Chief gave rest of the house the new few days off."

"I know that," she sat the cup down on the counter and started going through the cabinets looking for something to eat. "I mean, I can't sit home all day and do nothing."

"Gabby, you have a concussion."

"I think I'll go grocery shopping. The kitchen is looking kind of empty."

"Gabriela," Antonio started.

Gabby scoffed and slammed the cabinet doors shut. "Oh great, is this some sort of intervention? Operation 'Make sure Gabby doesn't overdue it'. Come on guys, I'm fine." She moved past both Antonio and Matt, "you know what, I'm actually starting to feel tired again. I'm going back to bed."

The two watched Gabby walk back down the hall in equal concern. Once the bedroom door slammed shut, Matt turned to Antonio. "I'm sorry."

Antonio shook his head, "don't be. Believe me, that's not the first time I've seen Gabby storm out of a room and slam her bedroom door shut." He sighed, "just keep me updated, ok?"

"Yeah, definitely."


	3. Slowly

Chapter Three-Slowly

_Sorry it took a bit longer to get this chapter out. This chapter is a bit longer. Hope you like! As always, review! :)_

Gabby cried out in pain and Matt's eyes shot open.

"Gabby?" He sat up and turned on the lamp next to his bed. "You ok?" Squinting against the sudden light, he looked for any obvious signs of trauma that could be causing Gabby's pain. "What happened?"

"My ribs. I rolled over in my sleep." Gabby took a shaky deep breath and closed her eyes.

"When was the last time you took your pain medication?"

"Right before bed."

"It's too early for more then. How about some ice?"

Gabby nodded, "Yeah."

Without another word, Matt slipped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. He filled a plastic bag full of ice and wrapped it in a towel.

When he came back to the room, Gabby had pushed herself up against the headboard and was clutching her side. "It's not as good as the fancy ones in your rig but it should do the trick." He considered himself victorious with the small smile she gave him.

Matt climbed back into bed and carefully rolled Gabby's shirt up enough so he could see where to place the homemade ice-pack. Gabby hissed from the sudden weight on her ribs. "Sorry, sorry."

"Not your fault."

"And it's not yours, either." Matt reiterated. Although the light illuminating from the lamp on the nightstand wasn't much to go by, it was enough for Matt to get a look at the beating Gabby's body had taken during the explosion and the slow healing process that had started. The explosion had happened about a week and a half ago and the last time he'd seen any part of her body was the first day back home when he'd helped her change into some pajamas.

But after her first night back, Gabby had built up an extensive wall, not only physically but emotionally. Although Matt wanted to talk about the miscarriage, she would shoot him down every time he tried to bring it up. There was no point in talking about something they never knew they had, was all she would say before changing the subject.

"Is it helping?"

"A little."

"What about your head? Do you have a headache?"

"Can't we go over all this during my appointment tomorrow?"

"In case you've forgotten, I've become an expert on head injuries," he joked.

Gabby narrowed her eyes, "not funny, Matt."

"You're right, sorry." He brushed a few stray hairs from her face and kissed her forehead. "I love you." He kissed her again. "So much. You know that, right?" she cast her eyes down and away from his. "Gabby, look at me."

She brought a trembling hand to her face and wiped away a few tears that had slipped free. "I don't want to talk about this, Matt."

"But we have to," he insisted. Placing his hand under chin, he moved her face so she was looking up at him. "You and I both know that it will just eat at us if we don't."

"I already know you're upset but it'll just hurt for me to hear you say it." She shook her head, "All you've ever wanted was a family and I...I..." she choked back a sob, causing herself more physical pain.

Matt shook his head, "you need to stop blaming yourself, Gabby! I know I sound like a broken record but I'll keep on saying it until you finally believe me." He removed the ice pack and leaned over Gabby to sit it on the nightstand behind her. His hand caressed her stomach, moving away from the bruising over her ribs and down to her abdomen.

"Matt..."

"Shh." He slid down in bed so his face was level with her stomach and started placing soft kisses all over. Over the bruises, over the cuts, over where their baby had been. "One day," he whispered against her stomach before bringing himself back up to her level. "I guess it just wasn't met to be."

Gabby nodded, "yeah, I guess not."

"But Gabby," he waited until she looked up at him to continue. "I couldn't imagine a better woman to be the mother of my children. You're it for me, Gabriela Dawson."

* * *

><p>Matt checked the time on his watch and adjusted the bag on his shoulder as he headed out of the garage. Gabby had a doctor's appoint in half an hour and thankfully Antonio had offered to pick Gabby up and take her so Matt could just meet her at the hospital.<p>

"Casey!"

He looked over his shoulder as Shay ran to catch up with him. "Hey, Shay."

Shay rolled her eyes, "Hey yourself. Got any idea why Dawson is avoiding me?"

"I didn't realize she was avoiding you." He came to a complete stop. "I thought she talked to you the other day?"

"Nope." Shay crossed her arms, "so you wanna fill me in on what's going on with her?"

"It's not my place to say."

"Gabby is my best friend, Casey. I'm really worried about her."

Matt looked away from the pleading look in Shay's eyes and shook his head. He did a quick glance around to make sure no one else was in range to hear what he was about to say. "Gabby had a miscarriage."

"Shit." Shay didn't know what to say, her heart sank for Gabby and Matt. "Did you guys know?" Matt shook his head. "Casey, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. Me too." He rubbed the back of his head and looked away, somewhat embarrassed by the tears that were clouding his vision. "I just wish she would talk to me. I think I got through to her a little bit last night but it's basically become a game of tug of war."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Matt shrugged, "at this point, I don't really know what will help." He checked his watch again, "but I really have to go, she has a doctor's appointment."

"Oh, sure! Right, right!" She patted Matt on the arm, "let her know I'll be calling her soon, ok?"

* * *

><p>"It wasn't my sight that was damaged, Antonio." Gabby snapped at him as she took the clipboard from his hands.<p>

"Fine, fine." Antonio held his hands up in defense and leaned back against the waiting room couch. He watched as Gabby tried to focus on the forms in front of her. "You ok?"

Gabby pushed her hair behind her ear and looked over her shoulder at her brother. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Antonio shrugged, "just wanna make sure you're doing ok. It's kind of in my job description as your big brother." Gabby gave a slight nod and turned her attention back to the forms. Antonio continued to watch his sister, her assurance that she was fine failed to settle his concern. In the week and a half since the explosion, the cuts and bruises had started to heal but looking into his sister's eyes, he could tell that was the only part of her that was healing.

"Gabriela Dawson."

Gabby looked up at the sound of her name and then looked longingly at the entrance to the waiting room.

"Gabriela Dawson?"

"She's here," Antonio nudged his sister. "Let's go, Gabby. I'm sure he's on his way."

Gabby pulled her attention away from the doors and over to her brother. "It's fine. Just wait out here for me?"

"Yeah, of course." Antonio kissed the side of Gabby's head and helped her out of the seat.

Not five minutes after Gabby disappeared down the hallway, Matt came jogging through the doors. He nodded at Antonio, "please tell me she just went back there."

Antonio stood up, "she did."

"Thanks for bringing her. Sorry I'm a few minutes late, work was…"

"No need to explain, I work for the city, too."

Matt nodded and laughed nervously, "Right, right."

"Hey, uh, I didn't get a chance to say anything to Gabby but Laura asked me to invite the two of you over for dinner tonight. You know, if Gabby's feeling up to it."

"Whether she's feeling up to it or not, she's been looking for excuses to leave the house so I'm sure we'll be there. I'll let you know after the appointment and get the details."

"Sounds good, man." He motioned towards the exam rooms, "now go be with Gabby. Whether she'll admit it or not, she needs you."

Matt didn't have to be told twice. He got the attention of a nurse and found out what room Gabby was in.

"Looks like you've got a visitor." Dr. Whitley opened the door to the examining room and allowed Matt to follow her in. "Just in time for the appointment to begin."

Gabby perched herself up on her elbows and sighed with relief when she made eye-contact with Matt. He hurried over to her and kissed her forehead, "sorry I'm late."

"You're here, that's all that matters."

Dr. Whitley cleared her throat, "how have you been feeling, Gabby?"

"Tired and sore."

"Both to be expected. Let's go ahead and take a look at your ribs, ok?" Dr. Whitley had Gabby lean back and pull her shirt up just enough to take a look at the bruising. She pressed lightly on Gabby's ribs and gave her patient an apologetic look. "Sorry." She removed her stethoscope from around her neck, "can you go ahead an sit up for me so I can take a listen to your lungs?"

Gabby sat up through the pain and took the required breaths she had been instructed to take. "It doesn't hurt as much as before."

"But it still hurts?" Gabby nodded. Dr. Whitley rested her stethoscope back around her neck. "Well they're definitely healing but it's going to take more time. What about headaches?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't have one right now."

Dr. Whitley nodded, "concussions are nothing to mess with and while you seem to be recovering, it sounds to me like you've still a got a ways to go."

Gabby's heart dropped at Dr. Whitley's words. "How long of a ways?"

"I can't put a time frame on something like a concussion. Not to mention, your body took a pretty big beating and you're lucky to not have more severe internal injuries."

"So you don't know when you can clear me to return to work?"

"I'm sorry, Gabby. It could be a few weeks, it could be a few months. As a paramedic, your job can be strenuous and putting that kind of stress on your body before you've completely healed will just make matters worse."

* * *

><p>"So why were you late?"<p>

"I was cornered in the garage by Shay," he cast a quick glance her way, looking for a possible reaction. But as usual, she was all poker face.

"Oh."

"So you have been avoiding her?"

"Did she say that?"

"Basically."

Gabby sighed and leaned her ahead against her seat, "I wasn't purposefully trying to avoid her. It just kind of happened." She shrugged, "I've kind of been avoiding everybody. It makes things easier."

"Well maybe it makes things easier for now but what about later?"

"Well you heard Dr. Whitley, I'm out of work indefinitely." She closed her eyes, effectively ending the conversation before Matt could really add anything else. She could feel her headache worsening by the second.

"This is probably a bad time to bring up that your brother invited us over for dinner tonight."

* * *

><p>"Aunt Gabby!" Diego jumped up from the kitchen table where he'd been working on his homework. He threw his arms around her, unaware of the pain she was still feeling. "I've missed you!"<p>

Gabby bit back a cry and stumbled back, had it not been for Matt standing right behind her, she's sure she would have fallen.

"Diego!" Antonio yelled when he came into the kitchen, "what did I tell you? Your Aunt Gabby is still healing, be careful!"

Diego released his grip around Gabby and looked up at her sheepishly, "sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you."

Gabby shook her head and ruffled Diego's hair. "You didn't. And I've missed you too." She motioned towards his open books. "Homework?"

Diego rolled his eyes in over dramatic fashion. "Always. It's science, I _hate _science."

With Eva spending the night at a friend's house, Diego had the four adults' complete attention and he was absolutely loving it. Halfway through another one of Diego's stories from school, Gabby started to feel a little unsteady. She was watching her nephew from the other side of the table but it felt like everything in front of her was moving. She blinked a few times, trying to refocus her gaze.

Matt had been paying close attention to Gabby the minute she'd complained of a headache at her doctor's appointment and when she'd stopped contributing much to the conversation, he got a bit concerned.

He reached his hand out underneath the table and placed it on her thigh, giving a light squeeze. She rested her hand over his and gave it a squeeze in return, letting him know she was ok. She just needed to walk it off, she thought to herself. She sat her fork down and pushed her chair back, earning the attention from everyone else at the table. "Sorry. I have to use the restroom."

Both Laura and Antonio looked at Matt for clarification. "She's still feeling the effects. Dr. Whitley assured us it was normal."

"Effects of what? The explosion at the hospital?" Diego asked, wanting to be apart of the adult conversation. "This kid in my class, his dad was killed in the explosion."

Antonio cleared his throat, "Diego, let's not talk about the explosion, ok?"

"But dad, the grief counselor at school said it's good to talk about things."

"You're right, you're right." Antonio nodded, ruffling his son's hair. "Talking helps."

Matt checked his watch, "it's been a few minutes, I'm going to go see how she is."

Taking the steps two at a time, Matt knocked on the bathroom door before letting himself in. Gabby was leaning against the sink for support and caught Matt's gaze through the mirror.

"I'm ok," she reassured.

Matt nodded and shut the door. "No offense, but you don't look fine. You've been struggling through the entire dinner."

She shrugged and looked down, "I didn't want to ruin dinner." She groaned and gripped the sink tighter, making her knuckles turn white.

Matt rushed to her side, "hey, hey. I think it's time we call it a night." It was only after Gabby wiped her mouth did Matt look down in the toilet and notice the evidence that she'd just relived her dinner. "You threw up?"

"Just a little," Gabby flushed the toilet. "It's fine."

"It's not the first time, is it?"

"Apparently it's normal to have pregnancy symptoms for a few weeks after a miscarriage." She wrapped her arms around her midsection, trying to ignore the feeling of emptiness that had settled inside of her. "Can we go home?"

"Whatever you want." Matt brushed his hands up and down her arms before linking his fingers through one of her hands and guiding her out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen. "Sorry to cut things short, but it's probably best if we head back home."

"But you guys just got here!" Diego whined. "I thought we were gonna play a game? That's what we always do after you guys come over for dinner."

"Maybe next time, ok? It's been a long day for both Gabby and I," Matt tried to reason.

"Well it's been a long day for me too," Diego grumbled. "But I'm still awake enough to play video games."

Laura cleared her throat, "It's not the best night for games, anyways. You've still got homework to finish. Say good-bye to Gabby and Matt."

"But it's Friday!"

"Diego!"

After a quick good-bye to Gabby and Matt. Laura ushered Diego out of the kitchen, leaving Antonio alone with the couple.

"You ok, kid?" Antonio asked.

Gabby nodded, "just got a little light headed. Dr. Whitley said it's normal."

Antonio framed his little sister's face in his hands, trying not to show concern for the clammy feel of his sister's skin. "Well go home and get some sleep because I'm picking you up tomorrow morning for breakfast." He kissed her forehead and pulled back, "I'll even bring coffee."

"As long as you've already had a cup by the time you pick me up," she quipped. "You're not very fun to be around first thing in the morning."

"Ha! You're one to talk!"


	4. Confessions and Misconceptions

_Hey all, thanks to everybody who reviewed! There weren't as many, so I hope people are still finding this story intriguing. I ended up taking a different route with Gabby than originally expected. She isn't still pregnant like one reviewer had suggested but while doing research about miscarriages and concussions, I came across different symptoms. I try to make my stories as real as possible. I'm not sure why, but I found this chapter a bit difficult to write. Probably because I'm so critical of myself. But anyways, I might be taking some different aspects from the current season but twisting them to work with my story. As always, read and review. You all are the best! :)_

_Also, any suggestions and/or critique is welcome. I've proof read this chapter so many times that I can't think straight anymore._

_Oh, one last thing, I'm gonna finally start reading some other Dawsey fics on here! There looks to be tons! _

Silence in the Dark

Chapter Four-Confessions and Misconceptions

"_You killed our baby, Gabby."_

Gabby shot up, startled awake those words.

She winced from the pain her sudden movements had caused and reached out for Matt. Unable to find him she started to panic, "Matt, please! I'm sorry!" She became more frantic until the fogginess in her mind began to fade and she remembered he'd left for work a few hours ago. She'd woken up with his alarm mainly out of habit and was a little disappointed she wasn't getting ready for the work day with him.

She leaned back against the headboard and forced herself to take deep, calming breaths. "He didn't say it, he didn't." She tried to reassure herself. She rubbed the tears from her eyes with the palms of her hands. There was no way she could go back to sleep after that nightmare. It wasn't the first nightmare she'd experienced since the explosion but it was the first time she had remembered it so clear that it could be real. She reached blindly for her phone on the night stand next to her and was surprised to see a text message she'd received from Matt about an hour ago.

_I love you. Don't ever forget it._

She didn't respond, not even sure she was deserving of his love anymore. Her phone buzzed with another text message just as she was about to sit it down.

This time it was from her brother. _Hey, got called in on a new case. Rain check on breakfast? Sorry. Love you._

* * *

><p>"Gabby?"<p>

The minute Gabby walked through the doors of District 21, she heard her name being called. Detective Erin Lindsay was walking across the lobby with a stack of files.

"Is everything ok? You look a little pale."

Gabby shook her head, "no, yeah, I mean, I'm fine. I'm just looking for my brother."

"He's actually out chasing a lead for a new case we got called in on this morning."

"Right." Gabby was hoping that maybe Antonio would be available for lunch. "Thanks anyways." She slipped her hands in the pockets of her coat and started to leave but was stopped by Erin's voice.

"You're more than welcome to join me upstairs and wait. I'm just going through some old cases trying to connect some dots."

Gabby shook her head, "no, that's alright. I'll just call him later. Thanks, again."

With Antonio still unavailable and Matt at work, Gabby had nowhere else to go and she refused to go back home. Sitting home alone with nothing but her thoughts for company was just pushing her farther into the depressing mood she'd woken up in. A part of her wanted to stop by the firehouse and see everyone. They were probably eating lunch right now, that is, if they weren't on a call. She just couldn't bring herself to be on the receiving end of the pitiful looks from her coworkers.

Back at the firehouse, everybody was crowded around the kitchen, nearly inhaling the meal Mills had cooked up.

"Hey, yo Lieutenant, any word when Dawson will be coming back?" Cruz asked between bites.

Matt was well aware he now had almost everybody's attention thanks to Cruz's question. He took a drink, washing down his food, "doc says probably about a month. With her concussion and cracked ribs, she won't be any help on ambo if she's not healed." A month should hold off the questions for a little bit, Matt thought. They didn't know that it could be longer and they didn't need to know about the miscarriage.

Herrmann shook his head. "How I'd like to get my hands on the guy who planted the bomb."

"Get in line," Matt bit out. "Can't promise there will be anything left after I'm through with him, though." His hand gripped the fork he was holding even tighter, the anger that coursed through him at just the thought of the coward who had planted the bomb was indescribable.

The memory of finding Gabby buried beneath the rubble was enough for Matt to want to call her and make sure she was ok. He grabbed his phone off the table and stood up, "I'll be back."

When he got to his office, he shut the door behind him and dialed Gabby's number. He knew she'd be awake since she'd made plans to have breakfast with her brother so when her phone continued to ring he couldn't help but feel concerned. His concern vanished when he saw she was calling him back.

"Hey beautiful."

Gabby couldn't help but smile, "hey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Ok." Gabby continued to walk through the park until she found an empty bench and sat down.

"How was breakfast with Antonio?"

"Didn't happen. He got called in on a new case."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Matt could hear the commotion in the background. "Doesn't sound like you're at home, though."

"I'm not. I can't stand being there alone."

"Well why don't you come by the firehouse? We've just started lunch. I know everyone will be excited to see you. Especially Shay."

"I still look a complete mess, Matt. I don't want them looking at me with pity. I don't want to have to answer their questions."

"Ok." Matt sighed and looked up at the sound of knocking on his office door. Chief Boden was waiting patiently on the other side. "Looks like Chief wants to have a word with me, anyways. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Matt ended the call and got up to let Chief in. "Hey, Chief."

Chief motioned to the phone in Matt's hand. "Was that Dawson?"

"Yeah."

"How is she doing?"

"She has her good days and her bad days." Matt ran his hand over the back of his head, his fingers sifting through the short strands of hair. "Her recovery isn't going as smoothly as what I had originally thought."

Chief looked over his shoulder before shutting the door to the office, "What do you mean?"

"It's just, there were some other…complications when the building collapsed." Matt sighed and put his hands on his hips, unsure if he should be telling anyone else. "Nobody in the house knows besides Shay. Gabby had a miscarriage. We didn't even know she was pregnant until it was too late."

* * *

><p>When Matt came home from shift, Gabby was asleep on the couch. It wasn't until he got closer to her that he could hear the whimpering. "No…I didn't…Matt…I'm sorry."<p>

Matt tried to wake her. "Gabby?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, wake-up!" Matt continued to nudge her until her eyes flew open. The look of fear in her eyes caught him by surprise. "It's just me." He brushed the hair from her face and kissed her softly. "You were having a nightmare."

Gabby nudged Matt's hand away from her face. "It was just a bad dream."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"No surprise there," he mumbled under his breath and stood up.

"What did you just say?" Gabby asked, glaring at Matt.

"Nothing," Matt called over his shoulder without turning to look at her. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Gabby jumped when she heard the bathroom door slam shut and despite the pain, she pulled her knees up to her chest and started to cry. The pain that ran through her body was nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

When Shay opened her door she was more than a little surprised to see Gabby standing on the other side of it.

"Oh sweetie, come here." She pulled Gabby into a hug and within seconds the floodgates were open. All the frustration she felt towards her best friend for ignoring her attempts at reaching out went completely out the window.

Gabby managed to calm down enough to walk rest of the way into the town home and plopped down on the couch. She took the tissues that Shay held out for her and tried to dry her eyes. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I just needed some time to deal."

"I understand." Shay took a seat at the other end of the couch. "And have you?"

She shrugged and looked down at the balled up tissues in her hand. "It's hard."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you and Matt are going through right now. I'm so sorry."

She lifted her head up and looked over at Shay. The tears in her eyes blurring the image of her friend sitting across from her. She hadn't allowed herself to cry in front of anybody since her first day home. She cleared her throat and tried to pull herself together. "Not your fault."

"It's not your fault, either."

"Now you sound like Matt."

"Well it's the truth."

"Well I don't want to talk about it. It happened, it's done and there's nothing I can do about it."

"So you're what, just gonna pretend like nothing happened and wallow in self-pity? Sounds like a great idea."

"I'm not wallowing in self-pity. What's the point of mourning for something I never really knew I had in the first place? By the time I knew I had been pregnant, it was too late. I can't change it, Shay."

"No, but you can deal with it."

"If you're looking for this to turn into some grief session then I suggest you leave and head down to the support group at St. Vincent's where people with _real _problems talk about them," Gabby snapped.

Shay put her hands up in defense, "ok, ok. Excuse me for just checking on my best friend." She propped her elbow against the back of the couch. "So what are you doing here, then? Shift just ended. Isn't Matt home?"

"He's mad at me."

"What for?"

Gabby shrugged, "I don't know. Being defensive, not really talking to him."

"You should talk to him, Gabby. He lost a baby, too."

"I know," she cried. "That's why I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to hear how he really feels. I don't want to hear what I know. That it's my fault."

Shay sighed, they were just going in circles. "Gabby, go home and talk to Matt."

Matt was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat for dinner when he heard the front door open and shut. He closed the refrigerator door and listened carefully for the direction of the footsteps.

"Hey." Gabby said, standing nervously at the entrance of the kitchen with her arms hugging herself, defenses already up. "Thinking about dinner?"

"Yeah. Any suggestions?"

"Thai?"

Matt turned around and took in her appearance. "Delivery usually takes a bit."

"That's ok, it'll give us time to talk." Gabby bit her bottom lip nervously as she watched for a reaction from Matt.

"Ok," he nodded. "You want the usual?"

"Yeah."

He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, "I'll call it in, then."

"I'm sorry," Gabby blurted out as soon as Matt ended the call and took a seat next to her on the sofa.

Matt raised a brow, "for what?"

"Everything. The mood swings, not talking to you…losing the baby." She knew she had his attention and took a deep breath, refusing to look him in the eye. "I haven't wanted to talk about the miscarriage because I've been so afraid that you'll say how you really feel. That it was my fault."

"Gabby..."

She shook her head, "let me finish. I should have known that I was pregnant and in my mind, that makes the miscarriage my fault. All you've ever wanted is children and I screwed that up for you. It's like, one minute I'm doing fine and then the next I'm a mess." She had turned her attention to the blanket in her hands, fiddling with the fringe at the end. "I know I've been having nightmares but I've managed to wake up with no recollection of what they were about. Until this morning."

Matt nodded, "was it the same one you were having when I came home from work." Gabby nodded but still refused to look at him. "Gabby, you have to talk to me. You've been there for me god knows how many times over the years, please, let me be there for you."

"In the dream," she took a shaky breath. "You blamed me. You said that I killed our baby."

"Oh, Gabby." He held Gabby's face in his hands, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away the rivers of tears that were streaming down her face. "I could never blame you. Never. If I blame anybody, I blame the guy behind the bomb, for putting me in such a panic at the thought of you being gone! It's his fault you got hurt and it's his fault that you-" Matt hadn't realized how emotional he was getting until he found the words stuck in his throat. He cleared his throat and refused to break eye contact with Gabby. "It's his fault that you had a miscarriage. Please," he begged, "please stop blaming yourself." He took a breath and if you start to feel that blame please talk to me, don't shut me out."

Gabby was sobbing now, the tears were falling too fast now. "I will, I'm sorry," she winced, the physical pain still very much causing her discomfort. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," he urged. "Just promise me you won't shut me out."

"I promise."

"I don't care what's on your mind, I want..." he took a breath and blinked back his own tears, "I _need _you to come talk to me about it, ok?"

Gabby nodded, "ok."

"Good." He leaned forward and took her lips with his own. Not only did he want to get across to her how much he loved her with words but with actions, too.

"We can't," Gabby said, out of breath and placing her hand on Matt's chest; putting some space between the two of them. She saw the confusion in Matt's eyes and shook her head, "I want to, believe me, I do. I'm just...I haven't been cleared for that yet."

"Oh shit, I completely forgot. I'm so sorry." Matt felt like a total ass, they had just talked about her miscarriage and here he was trying to start something that they couldn't finish.

Gabby shook her head, "don't worry about it. Trust me, you'll be the first to know when I can."

"Well I would hope so," Matt quipped.

It wasn't very much longer before their food arrived and the couple settled into the couch and ate their dinner.

Once she had finished eating, Gabby leaned forward and sat her empty containers on the coffee table before cuddling into Matt's side. She tried to hold back a yawn but failed miserably.

"You ready for bed?"

Gabby shook her head against Matt's chest. "I'm ok right where I am. Isn't there a game on?"

Matt grinned and pressed his lips against Gabby's forehead. "That's my girl." With one swift move of his arm, he pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch and draped it over the two of him.

The game was nearing the half way mark when he heard the start of the soft snoring. Gabby had fallen asleep. He debated whether to take her to bed or just finish out the game with her lying on top of him. As far as he could tell, it was probably one of the better sleeps he'd seen her fall into since the bombing. Gabby shifted a bit and he started to fear that she was having another nightmare but that quickly ceased when she settled back into his embrace.


	5. Almost

Silence in the Dark

Chapter Five- Almost There

"Well would you look at that! A clean bill of health!" Antonio draped an arm over Gabby's shoulder and kissed the side of her head. "Back to work ya go!"

Gabby rolled her eyes, "only took me two and a half months."

"Hey, hey," Antonio stopped walking and turned his sister around so she was looking at him. "You've got to stop putting yourself down, ok? I don't care if it took you two months to recover, all I care is that you're here. You're alive. When Chief Boden told me that you had been…" he shook his head, getting emotional just thinking about it.

"Antonio…"

"Things could have been a lot worse, you know?"

Gabby nodded and looked away. "I know."

"I'm proud of you, Gabriela." He nudged her, "now how about lunch? Or would you rather just head straight over to the firehouse to see your boyfriend?"

Gabby pretended to think about it and tapped her chin, "I mean, I _guess_ I could make some time to have lunch with my favorite big brother."

"Gabs, I'm your only big brother. In fact, I'm your only brother."

"Favorite by default, then. Consider yourself lucky."

It was the normal banter with Gabby that Antonio was happy to have again. He'd made sure to check in on her over the past couple of months, taking her out to lunch, inviting her over for dinner when Matt was working nights and anything else he could think of to get Gabby away from falling into a routine of just moping around her apartment while Matt was at work.

Back at 51, the guys were just returning from a call. Cruz parked the truck in the garage and the men started piling out.

Herrmann stopped what he was doing and raised his nose in the air, "smell that?"

Mills raised a brow, "someone's cooking?"

The guys hurried into the kitchen and cheered at the sight in front of them.

"Dawson's back!"

"And she made lunch!"

Gabby grinned as she sat another plate on the table. "Hey guys—oh, wow." The men of firehouse 51 swarmed around her. "Thanks guys, it's good to see you too."

It took a few minutes, but Gabby was able to get away from the guys and find Matt leaning against the counter, waiting for her.

She grinned and stood on her toes to peck his lips. "Guess what?"

Matt had an idea, but played along. "What?"

"I've been cleared to come back to work!"

"About freaking time!" Shay exclaimed, over hearing the conversation. "Hey guys!" She got everyone's attention. "Dawson's cleared for duty! Celebration at Molly's tonight! First round's on Dawson, well…because it's her bar!"

Gabby rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smirk, "gee, thanks."

Shay draped an arm around Gabby's shoulder. "Anytime, girl."

Once everyone had settled around the kitchen table and started eating, Matt took the opportunity to pull Gabby into his office.

"Clean bill of health, huh?" Matt asked, nudging her up against his now closed office door.

"Uh-huh. For _everything." _She slipped her hands around Matt's waist and let her fingers dance along the waistline of his pants.

Matt groaned and leaned into Gabby, "don't start what you can't finish."

"Who says I can't?" Gabby smirked. "I'm off the clock, Lieutenant." She pulled his face down until his lips met hers.

There was a knock on the door and the couple pulled apart. Matt sighed, "just a minute!"

Gabby patted his side, "We can finish tonight. I've got to go give Chief my paperwork, anyways. You know, that's kinda the whole reason I'm here."

"And here I thought you were here to see me."

"You kidding? I see enough of you at home," she joked.

"Take it back."

"Or what?"

"Or-" He groaned when he heard another knock. "We'll finish this at home," Matt whispered, releasing his hold on her.

Gabby slipped out of Matt's office, leaving him to talk to Mouch who was completely oblivious to what he had just interrupted.

With Chief's door open, Gabby knocked on the side of it and poked her head in, "Hey Chief."

Boden looked up and smiled. "Gabriela!" He stood up, "so the rumors are true, that was you in the kitchen!" He motioned for her to take a seat, "come in!" He hurried to his office door and shut it, giving them some privacy. "I'm assuming making lunch for the crew isn't the only reason you're here?"

Gabby shook her head and pulled the papers from her purse. "I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I've been cleared to return to work." She handed him the papers so he could see for himself.

"That's great!" He took the papers and motioned for her to sit down across from him on the other side of his desk. "Take a seat, let's talk."

Gabby did as instructed and tapped her fingers against the wooden arm of the chair in slight anxiety. "I was hoping I could start next shift?"

"Your crew has the weekend off, as I'm sure you know. But come Monday morning, I expect to see you walking through that garage door."

"Yes, sir. Thanks, Chief."

Boden leaned into his desk and sighed, "I guess what I need to know is if you're feeling ok with everything else. It was a pretty traumatic experience."

Gabby nodded, unsure of where this conversation was going. "Yeah, yeah, it was. But I can assure you Chief, I'm fine."

He cleared his throat, "I hate to ask, but I need to know that my crew is just emotionally well as they are physically."

It dawned on Gabby, what chief was asking and she crossed her arms, suddenly feeling like her every movement was being analyzed and scrutinized. "Matt told you, didn't he?"

Once Gabby had managed to convince Boden that she was indeed fine, she left the office in search of Matt. A quick glance at her watch let her know his shift had just ended and instead of making a scene, she decided to wait for him by his truck.

"Everything ok?" Matt asked with caution as he started up his truck.

Gabby turned to look at him, "why did you have to tell Boden?"

"Tell Boden…oh," Matt sighed, "that."

"Yes, Matt, _that! _As you have so simply labeled it!"

"I'm sorry but he had asked about your recovery and this wasn't too long after it had happened," he threw his head against the back of his seat and let out a frustrated sigh. "I just told him, ok? I don't know why, but I did! And maybe I shouldn't have, but…"

"No buts, Matt! Now every time that I'm out on a call, my boss just might be doubting me! The miscarriage was none of Chief Boden's business! In fact, it was nobody's business but mine so I just wish you would stop telling people! My body, my business!"

"Gabby…"

"Stop. Just please, stop talking."

Matt knew better than to even try to say anything else and instead put his truck in drive and headed towards their apartment. The minute he'd parked his truck, before even killing the engine, Gabby had removed her seat belt and was hurrying out of the truck into their apartment.

He got inside just in time to hear a door slam shut and instead of following her into their bedroom for a much needed nap. He collapsed onto the couch and tried to make himself comfortable. But unfortunately, that nap never came and he found himself turning on sports center just to end the deafening silence that had settled in the apartment.

A few hours later, Gabby stood in the bathroom, putting the finishing touches on her make-up. Putting her anger towards Matt aside for the time-being, she had decided she needed to enjoy her return to work celebrations at Molly's with everyone from the station. She wanted to drink, she wanted to laugh and she wanted to for once, forget all her worries.

"You ready?" Matt asked, leaning up against the door frame to the master bathroom.

"Just about."

"I'll be in the truck."

"Ok."

Matt started to walk away and stopped, looking back over at Gabby. "Gabby?"

She pulled her gaze from the mirror and turned to look at him, sensing the tenderness in his voice. "Yeah?"

"You look beautiful."

She couldn't help the slight blush that crept into her cheeks. She smiled, "thanks." She turned her attention back to her own reflection in the mirror but couldn't help but watch Matt's retreating form until she could no longer see him. She braced herself against the sink and closed her eyes trying to force the tears away. But the minute she heard the front door shut it was like a free for all as the tears raced down her cheeks.

"And there she is!" Shay wrapped an arm around Gabby as she entered the bar and handed her a drink. "The girl of the night!" Shay noticed the slight puffiness of Gabby's eyes and raised a brow, letting her friend silently know she would be asking questions later. If not tonight, then the following morning when she was sober. Or in the ambo on the way to their first call back as a duo. Leslie Shay wasn't one to let things go very easily. Especially when one of her best friends happened to be involved.

Herrmann held his own drink up in the air, "To Dawson!"

Knowing he wasn't Gabby's favorite person at the moment, Matt took a few steps back and let her get reacquainted with all of their coworkers.

"So what did you do?" Severide asked, nursing his own beer.

Matt shook his head, "couldn't keep my mouth shut." He took another swig of his beer and took a seat at one of the bar stools.

"Enough said."

"According to Gabby, too much was said."

"Let's dance!" Shay handed Gabby another drink and grabbed her arm, pulling her out into the center of the bar, "So what's up?"

Gabby shook her head, briefly catching Matt's gaze over Shay's shoulder. "I don't wanna talk about it tonight." She ran her hands through her hair, "I need to forget everything!"

Shay grinned, "well it's a damn good thing we're at a bar!"

"Dawson, Dawson!" Cruz called out, motioning for her to come back up to the bar. "I gotta drink for you to try!"

"Uh-oh," Gabby mumbled. "I have a feeling there's a story behind this." She followed Shay up to the bar and glanced between Cruz and' Otis. "What's up?"

"Otis said that maybe if I show a bit more professionalism and training, that if Molly's ever expands, I might be able to be involved."

"What?" Herrmann looked over at Otis for answers. "Don't you have a few people to consult before going and making promises like that?"

Otis rolled his eyes, "relax, Herrmann." He motioned towards Cruz, "let's just see how it plays out."

Cruz held up a blue colored drink for Gabby to try. "Start with this one."

It was a little after midnight by the time Gabby and Matt made it back to the apartment. To be honest, Matt was surprised Gabby had lasted as long as she had with all the alcohol she'd consumed. It had gotten to the point where he'd gone up to Cruz and told him he was done playing bartender for the night.

Standing behind Gabby, with one hand around her waist and keeping her upright, Matt unlocked the apartment door and pushed it open. "Watch your step."

"Oops," Gabby nearly tripped despite the warning. She plopped down on the couch and tried to take her boots off. She huffed, frustrated with her inability to do so. "Help me," she practically slurred.

Matt took a seat on the coffee table across from Gabby and one by one, removed her boots. "That better?"

She held her arms out, "my jacket."

"I don't think you even realize how drunk you are, Gabby."

"I'm just...just tipsy!"

Matt raised a brow, "you're drunk." He stood up and held a hand out for her. It took three tries before Gabby managed to actually grab a hold of his hand. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Only if you're coming to bed too," she giggled.

The more Gabby talked, the harder Matt was finding it not to laugh. "We're going to sleep, that's all."

* * *

><p>Gabby rolled over and groaned, last night's activities had caught up with her and she had a huge headache to show for the amount of drinking she'd done. She yanked the blanket over her head, not ready to deal with the sunlight that had crept in through the window and flooded the bedroom. Instead of drifting back to sleep, though, the events of the past twenty four hours came rushing back to her.<p>

She groaned and forced herself to sit up. She noticed the glass of water and ibuprofen tablets sitting on her night stand and gladly took them.

Gabby braced herself against the shower wall and dropped her head, letting the hot water run over her and hoping it would relieve the fog she was stuck in. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she'd heard the bathroom door open and close but didn't have the energy to focus on it. It wasn't until she heard the shower curtain being pushed back did she look up. Her eyes met his.

"Morning." He continued to search her eyes, looking for some sort of reassurance that she was ok. As usual, he couldn't read her. "Mind if I join you?" Gabby shook her head and stepped back to give him room. Matt wasted no time in stripping out of his clothes and was stepping into the shower with her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

"You ok?"

"Besides my killer headache? Yeah."

Matt laughed, "not surprising with the amount you had to drink last night."

Gabby grimaced, "don't remind me."

"You know," he started, resting his forehead against hers and letting his fingers trail down her arms until he met her hands and held them tightly. "We have some unfinished business from yesterday."

"We do?"

"I mean, that is, if I wasn't dreaming and you were given a clean bill of health yesterday?"

"It wasn't a dream," she whispered, her eyes meeting his and darkening with desire.

Apologies left unsaid but silently understood, Gabby decided their much needed talk could wait until later because right now, she need this.

She needed Matt.


	6. Welcome Back

_Here's the next chapter! Sorry it's a little rushed, wanted to get it done before I headed into work. I just want to thank everybody who has reviewed for this story, especially the ones that keep constantly reviewing with each chapter! Thanks so much! _

Silence in the Dark

Chapter Six-Welcome Back

"First day back," Matt whispered into Gabby's ear, at least an hour before their alarm was due to go off.

"All the more reason you should let me sleep," Gabby mumbled into her pillow. She was sprawled out on her stomach, one arm draped above her head and the other curled at her side. They'd spent the entire weekend home—mostly in bed, getting reacquainted with one another and Gabby was absolutely exhausted. "You kept me up too late."

Matt trailed kisses along Gabby's neck. "Well I didn't hear you complaining last night."

"Oh, I'm not complaining. I'm just blaming you as to why I will be showing up to my first day back at work completely exhausted."

"Nothing a few cups of coffee can't fix."

An hour and half later and the couple was walking hand in hand into Firehouse 51. Matt could see his attempt to keep Gabby from letting her nerves get the best of her was starting to wear off. The look of trepidation was evident on her face. He tugged on her arm, pulling her to a stop. "Hey." She looked up at him. "It's gonna be fine."

"I know," Gabby nodded. "I do. I just hope I'm ready. Two and a half months is a long time."

Gabby squeezed her eyes shut, trying to dig into the back of her mind where she knew her locker combination was waiting idly to be remembered. She heard footsteps and backed away from her locker, choosing to instead toss her bag on the bench and act like she was looking for something.

"Dawson!" Shay squealed, hurrying over to her best friend and pulling her into a hug. She pulled back and looked at Gabby. "I have the perfect song for this moment!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Reunited and it feels so good!" Shay sang completely off key.

Gabby laughed, "Was my fill-in really that bad?"

"More like you're really that good," Cruz said as he passed the two girls.

"You just missed her cooking," Mills said.

"We all did!" Herrmann chimed in.

"Here, here!" Severide bumped Gabby's shoulder with his fist as he passed her on the way to his own locker.

_Ambulance 61, woman in distress 117 Charles Court. _

"Alright," Shay said, "starting things off right away today!"

Gabby started to panic before she saw her opportunity, "hey, mind if I throw my things in your locker for now?"

"Not a problem!" Shay took Gabby's things and put them away before shutting the locker in a hurry. "Let's go!"

The two hurried out to the garage, and Gabby met Matt's gaze. She gave him a smile, letting him know she would be fine. Or so she hoped.

"I couldn't quite place it before," Shay said suddenly as they sped out of the garage.

"Place what?"

"The glow. You got laid. More than once."

Gabby's eyes widened in embarrassment, "Shay!"

"Oh come on, it's just me!"

"Ok, so maybe I did." Gabby bit her bottom lip trying to contain the smirk that was forming. "Several times."

"Including this morning?"

"Maybe."

"Such a little whore. You make me proud, Dawson."

_Ambulance 61 be advised that woman in distress might be experiencing labor. Second call just came in. Both were placed by a child and the exact situation isn't certain._

The dispatcher's words hit Gabby like a ton of bricks but now wasn't the time to visit her self-pity. She cleared her throat and replied through the radio, "copy that."

Shay cast a glance at Gabby, "do you want me to take lead on this?" She knew Gabby could handle it, she just didn't know if Gabby believed the same.

"No, I'm PIC. I can do this."

Sure enough, as soon as they arrived on scene and into the house, they were met with a very pregnant woman. "It's coming!" She cried, "I can feel it, I can feel it!"

Gabby got down on the floor next to the woman, "ma'am, my name is Gabby and this is Leslie. I'm going to need you to lean back against the wall so I can take a look, ok?"

Between the delivery, having to wait for someone to come and get the older boy before escorting their patients to the hospital; it took nearly two hours before Gabby and Shay made it back to the station.

"You ok?" Shay asked, coming around the rig just as Gabby jumped from the passenger seat.

"I'm fine." Gabby moved the sleeves up on her long sleeve t-shirt, feeling a little warm all of a sudden. "It was nothing, just another call." Maybe if she kept saying it, she'd start believing it.

It wasn't until she'd caught the baby in her hands did she feel her professional composure start to fracture from the grief she'd thought she'd put behind her. Two and a half months, she silently berated herself; that was more than enough time to get it together.

Sure, there were little things she'd started doing to make sure the miscarriage didn't cross her mind as much. Every time she went shopping, she'd avoid the part of the store that had anything remotely related to babies in it. The clothes, the diapers, the baby food and whatever else. She didn't want to see it. She didn't want to imagine herself standing in front of the jars of baby food trying to decide which vegetables her child hated the least while little chubby fingers reached for the box of biter biscuits.

She snapped back to reality and met Shay's eyes. "Don't look at me like that, Shay."

"Then don't lie to me, Dawson."

"Can you just drop it, please?" She saw Matt approaching and cut her gaze back to Shay. "And can you not mention this call to anyone?"

"You mean Matt?"

"Uh-oh. I heard my name." Matt approached, "are you two gossiping about me?"

Shay caught Gabby's pleading look one last time before spinning around, nearly running into Matt. "If you must know, Casey, I was asking Dawson here why she was already on her millionth cup of coffee for the day." She patted his shoulder and winked. "And my suspicions were confirmed."

"It is a good look on you, you know."

Gabby turned her attention to Matt as Shay walked away, leaving the two of them alone. She smiled, nervous under his look. He was always so good at reading her. "What is?"

"The look of having spent the weekend having the best sex ever," he whispered into her ear.

She grinned, "oh really? Well then I'll make sure to tell my boyfriend thank you."

"With more sex, right?"

"Is that all that's on your mind?"

"No," Matt tilted his head, "you're all that's on my mind."

"Smooth, Lieutenant Casey. Very smooth."

"So how was your first call?"

Gabby looked away, instead focusing her attention on her watch and readjusting it. She nodded, "it was good."

"Yeah?" with Gabby's lack of eye contact, Matt knew there was more to tell but decided to let it go for now.

"Yeah. It felt good to get back out there."

_House fire. Squad 81, Truck 3 and Ambulance _61. _2314 Medway St._

"Sounds like the civilians of Chicago intend to keep you on your feet all day."

With just a little over a half an hour left until the end of shift, Gabby was counting down the minutes until she could crawl into bed and put an end to one very long day.

She stood in front of her locker and rubbed her forehead, trying to ease the huge headache she'd developed hours ago and also hoping to stir her mind into remembering the combination. The possible number sequences bounced around in her head and to her finger tips as she anxiously dialed away; but again and again, failing to open her locker.

"Why don't you just ask chief for your combination?"

Gabby jumped at the voice and turned around. "What are you talking about?"

Shay rolled her eyes as she approached her own locker and opened it. "You can't remember the combination, can you?"

"It's just been a while," Gabby defended.

"Hey, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you just because you've forgotten the combination." She sat Gabby's things down on the bench, "just ask chief."

"I can't. He's already watching me like a hawk."

"What do you mean?"

"Matt told him about the miscarriage. The last thing I need is another reason for him to doubt my abilities. I…" she stopped as a thought occurred to her. "Hold on…" she grabbed the lock and hurriedly spun the dial back and forth a few times. She held her breath and pushed the handle up. A sigh of relief fell from her lips when her locker door popped open. She pumped her fist in the air excitedly, "yes!"

"What made you remember it?" Shay asked.

"I guess I just remembered the meaning behind the numbers."

"Oh yeah?" Shay asked. "Does it have to do with your lover boy?"

"Maybe."

"So are you gonna tell him about it?" Shay asked. "You know Casey can read you like no one else."

"I just don't want to think about it."

"Think about what?"

"Well, I believe this is my cue to go!" Shay shouldered her bag, "I'll catch you two lovebirds tomorrow."

Matt watched as Gabby crossed her arms and took a step away from him. She bit her bottom lip, falling into deep thought.

"Gabby?" Matt began, filling the gap she had created by taking a step forward and tugged at her arms, breaking the barrier she'd created. He held her hands in his, "is this about your first call this morning?" Gabby looked up at him and Matt grinned, "babe, why do you look so surprised? I could tell the minute I saw you that something was on your mind."

"Sometimes I forget that you can read me so damn good."

"Isn't that what a good boyfriend is supposed to be able to do?" Matt sat down on one of the benches and tugged on her arm, silently motioning for her to do the same and she obliged. "So you wanna tell me about it?"

"I had to deliver a baby," she whispered, her eyes watering once the words had spilled from her mouth.

"Gabby..."

"And I know it's been months, Matt! I do!"

"Well that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt to think about it."

She looked up at him, surprised by his words. "It still hurts for you too?"

"Of course it does!" Matt was startled that Gabby was even asking him that. "We lost a baby, Gabby. That's something that will forever stir emotions in us. And whenever it hits you, I want you to be able to talk to me about it. Ok?"

Gabby nodded, "ok."

* * *

><p>When they'd gotten home, Gabby had decided she wanted food from the one place that didn't deliver. After the rough day it had been for Gabby, Matt wasn't about to protest and went to go pick up dinner. When he got back, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see Gabby curled up on the couch sound asleep; her head slighting nodding forward with each breathe she took. He grinned, he'd never say anything to her, but he always found it cute how she always managed to fall asleep in the most awkward positions.<p>

He continued on into the kitchen and put the food in the refrigerator knowing it would not get eaten tonight.

Matt tucked a few strands of hair behind Gabby's ear and caressed her cheek. "Gabby." She shifted and mumbled something incoherently and Matt couldn't help but chuckle. "Come on, Gabby, you'll be more comfortable in bed."

The sound of Matt's laugh was what had pulled Gabby from her slumber. She pushed herself up and looked around. "Where's the food?"

"In the fridge."

"Oh," she stretched her arms above her head and leaned against the back of the couch, letting her eyes briefly close. "I'll eat in a minute."

"Let's just go to bed. The food will still be there tomorrow morning."

"Don't have to tell me twice." She gladly took Matt's outreached hand and let him help her up off the couch.

As soon as they crossed the threshold into the bedroom, Gabby dropped Matt's hand and went straight for the bed.

Matt stripped down to his boxers and headed for the adjoining master bath. It didn't take him long to get ready and once he came back out of the bathroom, he hit the lights and crawled in next to Gabby.

"Love you," He whispered, slipping an arm around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

Gabby snuggled into his chest, "Mhm. Love you."


	7. Chit Chat

_A/N: thanks to everyone who keeps reviewing! It's definitely motivation. Also, thanks to all the new followers! So this chapter is a lot shorter than most, but it just felt right to end it where it did. Enjoy! -R_

Silence in the Dark

Chapter Seven-Chit Chat

Gabby stood against the kitchen counter, nibbling on the toast she'd made for breakfast. She gasped when Matt's arms slipped around her waist, catching her completely off guard. He slipped his hands under her shirt, caressing her smooth skin and planted soft kisses down her neck. "I hate waking up without you."

She smirked, he just couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her and she loved it. "Sorry, babe. I got up to go to the bathroom and couldn't fall back asleep."

"I suppose you're forgiven. Can I have a bite?"

Gabby grinned and held the toast over her shoulder so Matt could have a bite. "I suppose. But I assure you, toast is not _that _hard to make."

"Haha. Just for that, I'm gonna eat it all." He swiped what little piece of toast was left from her hand and shoved it in his mouth.

"That's alright, it wasn't doing much for me, anyways."

Matt frowned and turned Gabby around in his arms so they were now facing each other. He searched her eyes, "everything ok?"

"Yeah, fine…everything's fine." She busied herself by brushing the crumbs off of his old CFD t shirt he'd worn to bed.

Matt took Gabby's hands in his and stopped her movements, "Gabby?"

"I started my period this morning."

"Oh?" Matt didn't know what to say, it wasn't something they normally discussed. "Are you feeling alright? I mean, does anything hurt?"

"Just the usual, cramps." She cleared her throat, "it's just, it's my first once since before I got pregnant."

"Oh." He said again.

Gabby shrugged out of Matt's grasp, "sorry, I know my period really isn't something you're dying to talk about."

"Nope, nope." Matt gently pulled Gabby back to him. "We're gonna finish this conversation. No running away." He took a breath, trying to pick his words carefully. "Remember what we talked about? Don't bottle this kind of stuff up. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything."

"It's just…it's just another reminder, you know? If I were still pregnant, then I wouldn't be starting my period." She bit her bottom lip in trepidation, "and I guess, with the way we've been going at it the past month," she shrugged, "I don't know, I thought that maybe there was a chance that I could be…pregnant."

"Gabby…"

"I know we haven't really talked about when or if we were going to start trying but I…I don't know, I guess I just thought that if it happened once, maybe it could happen again." She finally looked up and met his eyes, "sorry."

Matt shook his head, "you have nothing to apologize for. I just wish you would have brought this up with me." He poked her stomach, "I would have been trying to seduce you more than I already do."

Gabby grinned, "you mean, you'd be ok with trying to get pregnant again?"

"Absolutely! I've told you before and I'll tell you again…you're it for me, Gabriela Dawson. There's nobody else I'd rather have be the mother of my children."

"Children?"

"Oh yeah! We're not stopping at one!"

* * *

><p>"Shit, Casey!" Shay muttered angrily when Matt pulled her into his office and shut the door. "What the hell?"<p>

Matt turned around and glanced out the window of his office, Gabby was nowhere in sight. "Where's Gabby?"

"Outside talking to her brother, why?"

"I need your help with something."

Shay crossed her arms and raised a brow, "ok, I'm listening."

"I want to ask Gabby to marry me."

"What?"

"Not a good idea?"

"Normally, I would say it's too soon but you two have already experienced more than most couples do in a lifetime so I think it's a fantastic idea. Besides, you two are so fucking lovey dovey that it needs to be made official."

Matt grinned, happy to have the seal of approval from Gabby's best friend. Now he just had to worry about Gabby's family. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind for the time being. "I need your help picking out the ring. I checked out a few different ones yesterday and I think I found the one but I want to make sure I get it right."

"I'm sure whatever you've picked out is perfect but just in case, I'm more than willing to confirm or deny your choice." Shay clapped her hands in glee. "Oh my god, I'm so excited!"

"You can't say a word, Shay," Matt urged. "I mean it."

"I won't, I won't. I promise. So when do you want me to go look at the ring?"

"After shift?"

"Well how are you going to distract Gabby?"

"She said something about needing to run to Molly's after shift so I thought I'd take the opportunity."

Shay nodded thoughtfully, "ok, sounds like you've really thought this out."

Matt shoved his hands in his pockets and stood up straight, feeling a sense of accomplishment. "I have."

"So how are you going to propose?"

"Ok, so I haven't thought that far ahead."

Outside the firehouse, Gabby sat in the passenger seat of her brother's car happily taking bites of the cupcake he'd brought her. "I know you have some sort of ulterior motive for bringing me my favorite cupcake but right now I'm choosing to ignore it so I can enjoy this little piece of heaven in its entirety."

Antonio smiled, happy to see his sister acting more and more like herself every day. "How has it been? Getting back into the routine of working again?"

"It's been good, a little rough at first."

"Completely normal."

Gabby hadn't mentioned anything to her brother from her first day back on duty but she had no doubt he'd heard about. In fact, she wouldn't be surprised if Matt had told him. Ever since the explosion, her brother and boyfriend had become almost like friends, united by the fact that both of them considered her one of their top priorities.

"Yeah, but it's been a few weeks so I think I've gotten back into the groove of everything." She licked the frosting from her finger and looked up at her brother. "So why are you really here?"

"Can't I just set aside some time in the day to see my sister?"

"Antonio, if everybody could set aside time in their day to see me, they would but that's not very realistic."

"Sassy as ever," he quipped back. "I need a favor."

"This cupcake has at least guaranteed that I'll listen. Continue."

"I need you to watch Diego and Eva for the next few days."

Gabby looked over at her brother, "why? Where you and Laura going?"

"Out of town." Antonio sighed and leaned his head back against his seat, "a last ditch effort to get our marriage back on track."

"But I don't understand, I thought everything was fine?"

"So did I. Guess not." He shrugged and looked over at his sister with pleading eyes, "so can you?"

"Of course!" She held up the empty cupcake paper, "you know you didn't have to bribe me for something like that."

"I know." He winked, "just thought I'd surprise my baby sister with her favorite snicker-doodle cupcake."

"Well it was very much appreciated." She heard the alarm go, "oh, that's my cue." She leaned over and kissed Antonio's cheek, "I'll call you after shift. Love you."

"Love you, too." He watched her hurry out of the car, "and be safe!"


End file.
